Happy ComFest, Columbus! Follow these tips to make sure we all have a great weekend at Goodale Park.

Happy ComFest, Columbus! Follow these tips to make sure we all have a great weekend at Goodale Park.

• DO attend the festival during non-peak hours. Friday afternoons and Sundays are the best.

• DON'T expect there to be any parking. Alternative transportation is the way to go (walk, bike, CoGo, COTA, Tauntaun, etc.).

• DO act like you've seen boobs before. OK, Juggalos, we know you haven't seen many, but let's try not being creepy, OK?

•DON'T hacky-sack or hula-hoop near people. Or ever.

• DO be prepared for rain. Bring a poncho. Have a plan. Make sure your boob paint is water-resistant.

•DON'T smoke pot in the Porta-John. (We've seen it.) Really, the less you breathe in there the better.

• DO stay hydrated. And we mean with water. Beer is fun. Heat stroke is not.

• DON'T get shitfaced. It's easy. 1. Don't BYOB. 2. Use the time waiting in the beer line to sober up.

• DO bring your own toilet paper and hand sanitizer. And don't shake hands with anyone who doesn't.

• DON'T bring your acoustic guitar. No matter how great your bros think that John Mayer song is.

• DO check out some new local bands. The bands are playing for exposure, so you should expose yourself. Um, to the music. Not like that.

• DON'T be on your phone the whole time. Nobody wants to see 50 selfies of you at ComFest. Or ever. (Also, you won't get a signal anyway.)

• DO smile. Don't walk around mean-mugging. It's ComFest, hard-ass.

• DON'T be shy. Talk to weirdos - they're usually awesome.

• DO eat a Fish Boat. It's maybe the best tradition of ComFest.

• DON'T jump in the pond. It's for drunk people to pee in during Gallery Hop.

• DO wish someone jazz. Whether you actually see anyone at the I Wish You Jazz Stage, "I wish you jazz" is a better greeting/farewell than "Happy ComFest."

•DON'T engage in excessive PDA. Holding hands? OK. Hands in each other's back pockets? Not OK. A quick kiss? OK. A quickie in the trees? (We've seen it.) NOT OK.

•DO buy stuff from local vendors. You can make sure your tie-dye shirt is locally sourced and gluten-free.

• DON'T buy and/or sell drugs. ComFest is about sharing.

• DO wander. If you just put down a blanket by the Bozo Stage, you're missing out on the weird tribes that form in Goodale Park. It's like "Game of Thrones" with less bloodshed.

• DON'T bring your dog. It's hot. It's loud. It smells weird. It's canine sensory overload. YOUR DOG HATES COMFEST. Don't do it.