With chart-topping rapper Iggy Azalea coming to the LC this Thursday, we’re saluting her ubiquitous summer hit with a countdown of our favorite things that are fancy.
Two lenses are for poor people. If you want to go high-class, you only see out of one eye. Complete the I’m-a-Robber-Baron look with some gaudy cufflinks and a pocket watch (preferably twirled whilst sauntering).
9. Multiple showerheads
Single showerhead? What are you, in prison? You’ll feel cleaner — and fancier — with the sensation that a warm springtime rain shower just popped up in your bathroom.
8. Fancy Feast
Who says it’s just for cats? Start your day with the Mornings Medley with Wild Salmon, Garden Veggies and Egg.
7. Foie Gras
There’s no more extravagant dining experience than the liver of a tortured, force-fed duck/goose. Mmmm …
6. Miller High Life
It’s the Champagne of Beers! (For the record, the Beer of Champagnes is André.)
5. Infinity Pools
If you truly want to be the fanciest, you must have a swimmin’ hole that goes on forever. Only white trash can’t swim to eternity.
4. Cucumber sandwiches
Preferably served with tea. Definitely consumed pinkies out.
3. The word “indubitably”
Only the wealthiest, and therefore fanciest, individuals are completely infallible. Just ask their attorney(s).
2. A diamond-encrusted white tiger
If you want to separate yourself from all the schmucks with white tigers, the only way is to envelop your pet jungle cat in jewels. You’ll be the envy of every cartel drug lord.
1. Fancy ketchup
They serve nothing but the best at McDonald’s.