Rap producer Suge Knight was shot at a pre-VMA party hosted by Chris Brown. Brown tweeted afterward, "It's disappointing that we as a society can't have fun or enjoy ourselves without any altercations sometimes." It's disappointing as a society that Chris Brown has millions of Twitter followers.
John Lennon's killer, Mark David Chapman, was denied parole for the eighth time. It's OK if all you can think of when you try to envision Chapman is fat Jared Leto.
Remember William Hung? The “She Bangs She Bangs” guy from “American Idol”? He got married. To a real-life woman.
ABC anchor and journalist (because those things aren't mutually exclusive) Elizabeth Vargas is in rehab for alcohol addiction.
Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey are getting a divorce. You are correct to assume it will be messy.
Actor Chris Pratt shared a photo of the white van with a Shaggy and Scooby Doo cartoon painted on the side that he lived in before he made it big as an actor. Hide this success story immediately from your unemployed musician boyfriend.
Actor Tom Hanks launched a free iPad app called Hanx Writer. The wildly successful app lets your iPad mimic old-fashioned typewriter sounds. Interested Apple users should be cautious to not download Hex Writer on accident.
Nicki Minaj released a music video for "Anaconda" in which she lap dances on a lethargic looking Drake. The video broke the record for most views in 24 hours, beating Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball."
Actress Lauren Bacall, who passed away a few weeks ago, bequeathed $10,000 to her papillon named Sophie. Now get back to work.