Top of the Muffin to You

With Jerry Seinfeld coming to the Palace Theatre on Thursday, Nov. 16, we figured we should write a list about food, which actually advanced numerous “Seinfeld” plot lines. So pull up a chair and join us for this presentation about nothing, especially since George's mom made all this paella!

Soup

Mmm … jambalaya! If I were ranking these items, soup would be the obvious number one, thanks to the Soup Nazi. But the slurp-able dish also interfered with Jerry's plans to keep a promise to the annoying Kenny Bania. And it left us wondering: Is soup really a meal? What if you crumble crackers in it?

Mackinaw Peaches

As Jerry would say, “fruit's a gamble,” but not if it's a Mackinaw peach, only ripe for two weeks each year. The peach ultimately ended George's relationship with a new girlfriend, but, more importantly, the episode contains one of my favorite poetic lines from Newman: “You can't taste them? Why waste them? Why not give them all to me?”

Marble Rye

Who would bring bread to dinner and take it back? George's parents, that's who. George's in-laws forgot to put the Costanzas' marble rye out during the meal, but Frank Costanza felt it was “deliberate.” To save face, George devised a scheme that resulted in Jerry robbing an old woman and Kramer driving a gassy horse and carriage. (Spoiler alert: The plan failed.)

Babka

The same bakery that ran out of marble rye also served Jerry and Elaine a “hair with a cake around it.” The pastry in question was the cinnamon babka, which they were stuck with when the chocolate babka sold out. More unforeseen circumstances ensued, making them late to a party. If only they had listened to George and picked up Pepsi and Ring Dings instead.

Jujyfruits

Elaine and her boyfriend, Jake Jarmel, were already on shaky ground because he didn't use an exclamation point where it was warranted. But she completely ruined things by buying Jujyfruits after hearing he was in the hospital — even though the counter was right there …

Muffin Tops

Elaine and her former boss, Mr. Lippman, teamed up to sell bottomless muffins (FYI: You have to make the whole muffin, “pop the top and toss the stump”). Their company name? Top of the Muffin to You! (note the exclamation point).

Gum

What are the holidays all about? Three buddies sitting around, chewing gum. Or so said Kramer, who went to great lengths — and recruited a reluctant Jerry — to help Lloyd Braun recover from a mental breakdown.

Chinese Food

In one episode, the characters spent the whole time waiting for a table in a Chinese restaurant. In another, Elaine “named names” and had her boyfriend, Ned Isakoff, blacklisted from Hop Sing's restaurant. It's a painful fate for Isakoff, who reads communist literature because he is not only “very well-read” but, “very, well, red.”

Junior Mints

Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, peppermint, delicious and can stave off deadly infections during surgeries.