Here are a few things Alive is actively avoiding

This week's cover centers on Alive's 2018 class of People to Watch. But there are plenty of things we're not watching. Here are just a few of them.

“Young Sheldon”

So far my only exposure to this “Big Bang Theory” spin-off/prequel has come via the odd online advertisement, and I intend to keep it that way.

Weezer's cover of “Africa” by Toto

“Africa” is not a good song, and I'm not charmed by the (ultimately successful) fan campaign designed to get Weezer to cover the '80s tune. (I'm similarly nonplussed by Toto's decision to return the favor, covering Weezer's “Hash Pipe.”) That said, if anyone wants to cover Modern English's “I Melt with You,” consider this a cosign.

“Dark Tourist”

The new Netflix series is the anti-Anthony Bourdain, positioning foreign cultures as oddities to be viewed from a distance rather than engaged with.

Pop-Tarts

What razor-thin flavor of sugar smear do you want sandwiched between crumbling sheets of moisture-lacking pastry drywall?

The Facebook “apology” commercials

In which the social media giant attempts to absolve itself from everything that happened on its platform. After talking about friendships resurrected and family connections deepened, the ad pivots: “But then something happened. We had to deal with spam, clickbait, fake news and data misuse.” That “something” would be your business plan, Facebook. Own it.

QAnon

This bizarre-yet-growing right-wing conspiracy group has been described by the Guardian as “a volatile mix of Pizzagate, InfoWars and the Satanic Panic of the 1980s, multiplied by the power of the internet.” God help us all.

Bebe Rexha (featuring Florida Georgia Line): “Meant to Be”

This record-breaking-but-flavorless song has somehow now logged 35 straight weeks on the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart despite existing as the musical equivalent of plain yogurt.

Snapple

I'm good swallowing my own spit, thank you.

@jack

The co-founder and CEO of Twitter has allowed the platform to exist as a gathering place for white nationalist goons, serial harassers and the “comedic” musings of humorless politician-turned-pundit Mike Huckabee.

“Show Dogs”

This poorly reviewed talking animal movie has received deeper criticisms from the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, which said scenes in which the canine character is told to go to a “Zen place” as his genitals are fondled send “a troubling message that grooms children for sexual abuse.”

That “How-To” poem published in The Nation

Even beyond its deeply problematic conception/construction, it really is just a bad poem.

“Caillou”

I had never heard of this animated children's show, and now I hate Joel for introducing it to me for this list.

Red Delicious apples

These fall just behind the poison apple that put Snow White to sleep in my current apple power rankings.