Alive & Unedited
Queens of Hearts
By Brittany Kress
WILL SHILLING PHOTO
That annual celebration of love, songbirds and sweetness is seven days away.
What? You don't have plans? No, complaining about your lack of the above to a glass of wine doesn't count as a date. But you've still got plenty of time if you're proactive, according to matchmakers Susie Hardesty and Elizabeth Cobey-Piper.
"This is your life. It isn't a dress rehearsal," Hardesty said.
The two run Dating Directions (online at datingdirections.com), a Columbus-based matchmaking service with clients all over the country. Most are young professionals with limited time and social avenues for meeting other singles, Cobey-Piper said.
"Once you get out of college and get to work, your environment stops working for you," Hardesty said. "Then you're thinking, 'Well how am I going to meet somebody?' And luck and chance really doesn't work too well anymore."
The pair spends hours getting to know their clients, then matches them based on preferences, personality and lifestyle choices. And sometimes they just have a feeling about a pair.
The business partners — who act more like sisters — shared some of their certified expertise in anticipation of the upcoming day of dates.
How different is matchmaking from what people imagine it is?
Elizabeth Cobey-Piper: Sometimes I'll tell people I'm a matchmaker, and they'll start singing 'Matchmaker, matchmaker ...' [from Fiddler on the Roof], like I'm this little, meddling lady. And we can be meddling mother hens.
Susie Hardesty: It's changing. We have personal trainers, we have real-estate brokers, and now we're trending more toward having matchmakers. People are wanting something more than the internet.
What's the biggest challenge in matchmaking?
Cobey-Piper: I think for me the biggest challenge is getting folks to be more open-minded about who might be right for them. Sometimes people have an idea that the love of their life's going to be in a certain package and is even going to have a certain sort of resume.
Hardesty: And we search for that, we do, but ... [laughs]
Cobey-Piper: That isn't the truth all the time. Because when good things happen in life, it doesn't always look exactly the way you think it's going to.
Hardesty: I think for me, another challenge that I see is that people need to get proactive. The people that kind of want to wait and see what happens, it drives me crazy. Like, go for it.
What advice would you give to all those budding matchmakers out there?
Hardesty: Sometimes it's very tangible. Sometimes it's, "These two people would look great together." And that's the reason that you may want them to meet.
Other times, it's their lifestyle — how do they want to live their life? What are their goals? Do they want to have children, do they want to get married? That's another good reason to match somebody.
Cobey-Piper: We have a women's group. It's the coolest thing in the world. We get single girls together — which, there's nothing more fun — and train them to match each other.
Hardesty: It's called the Matchmaking Circle. And 50 percent of women who have started in this club are now in relationships.
Cobey-Piper: And my best advice for amateur matchmakers out there is don't be afraid to make a mistake. Don't worry that they'll be mad at you. Because if you match them and they end up together, they'll love you forever and you'll be their angel, right?
What tips do you have for those actually going on the date?
Hardesty: What we figured out after a while is that the first date is important, but it's so important to get on that second date right away. If that second date falls apart, everyone gets in their mind stories about why that person isn't into me. And it's probably really not the case.
So once you have a good experience on that first date, make sure you're available and ready to get on that second date. It's very crucial.
February 7, 2008
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