Alive Book Club

Sin city

By Shelley Mann

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Joselin Linder had her share of ups and downs living with significant others in the past, so she was pleasantly surprised at how smooth the transition has been since her boyfriend Aaron moved in this February. She attributes that to the lessons she learned while writing her new book, The Good Girl's Guide to Living in Sin, out in bookstores now.

Linder, a Columbus native, will return to town this week for two book signings at Columbus Barnes & Noble locations.

The book is chock full of advice about navigating the often tricky cohabitation process. So instead of flipping out when Aaron moved in with boatloads of furniture and other stuff, Linder stayed calm and decided they'd both pare down their belongings, leaving the rest boxed up in the basement.

"Decorating is a huge issue. There are things you're attached to, you have your own style, and then this person comes in and they have their own ideas and opinions," Linder said.

Learning to merge belongings is just one of many bits of wisdom shared in the guide, which combines real-life stories and professional tips from more than 100 women about things like paying the bills, sharing household chores and telling relatives about the new living arrangements.

Despite its title, Living in Sin doesn't spend much time discussing the moral quandaries some "good girls" face when deciding whether to move in with a boyfriend.

"I think the attitudes about cohabitation in America are completely different than they were even 20 years ago," Linder said. "A lot of people are saying, 'Why would we get married when living together is completely comfortable?'"

Linder and co-author Elena Donovan Mauer gathered the stories and advice through questionnaires, and then wrote the book together via e-mail, splitting up chapter sections and exchanging what they'd written.

While both authors brought their own life lessons to the writing process — Linder moved in, broke up and moved back in several times with one ex, while Donovan Mauer, who was raised in a strict Catholic family, wasn't allowed to tell her own grandmother when she moved in with her future husband — they stayed out of the book for the most part.

"We did put ourselves in, but we had a character name," Linder said. "Our stories are in there for sure. We thought we had a lot to share, but didn't want to feel like we were preaching."

Publisher Adams Media has asked Linder and Donovan Mauer for a second Good Girl's Guide with sex advice for women in long-term relationships. Other future sequels could include manuals for single women navigating the dating world and for women who want to have it all — family, career, social life.

"We're hoping it'll be sort of an overall guide for women in relationships," Linder said.

Linder's other recent project is a book based on the popular online Purity Test, due out in the winter of 2009. "It's mostly just a really fun, light book. It'll be great to take on road trips," she said.

After graduating from Columbus Alternative High School, Linder moved to Boston to go to college and never came back to Ohio. Since, she's moved quite a few times — Prague for two years, San Francisco for three and now New York for three.

"It's hard to keep me in one place," she joked.

July 31, 2008

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