This leaky submarine almost makes the pambazo's mad moisture content seem modest. That's because the whole damn thing gets baptized in a vat of thin-but-lusty beef gravy (if you order it "dipped" that is - which you absolutely must).

Accurately mimicking the Chi-town favorite, this un-shy Italian stallion's treated-like-a-sponge bun actually comes from the Windy City's Turano Baking Company. That difference-making, soft-yet-chewy, authentic roll has a preternatural ability to suck up sauce without disintegrating - and to create goofily grinning masticaters.

But that's only half of the awesomely sloppy story. There's also a boatload of lean and tender, thinly sliced roast beef topped with a chunky, take-no-prisoners giardiniera slightly rounded off by sweet peppers. These last two components (which must be asked for) enjoy diving overboard during chomps.

WARNING: This beefy and spicy-yet-comforting drenched sensation can cause gravy-splattered, napkin-fluttering chewers to produce delirious moans of gratitude - and stains.