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As you saw in my itinerary, things were heating up today in my quest to be an arm’s length away from the Angels – and 22 other models who will appear in next to nothing on Thursday night.

That means I had to head to Hollywood Boulevard, specifically the tourist stretch between Orange and Whitley. This, for those who have never been there, is likely the closest thing Los Angeles has to Manhattan’s Times Square. The Victoria's Secret store is located near Hollywood and Highland. (An odd place, if you ask me.)

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Essentially a multimedia experience in the form of a shopping mall, Hollywood Boulevard is how the world would look if all the freaks, bodybuilders, tattoo artists, roving musicians and other folk from Venice Beach were forced to get real jobs.

This would be their paradise and their final resting place.

Here, Cinderella, Tigger and Captain Jack Sparrow mingle about, vying for tourist dollars that flow from a constant stream of outsiders that flocks to the strip with tote bags, cameras and disposable income. Some take pictures with natives dressed like their favorite cartoon characters; others buy star maps, doing a bit of shopping and head out.

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Other activities might include the Hollywood Wax Museum, the Guinness Book of World Records Museum, tattoo parlors, piercing shops, sex-toy and bondage boutiques, souvenir stands, the Virgin Megastore, a mixed-use retail mall, the Chinese and Kodak theaters, Thai massage parlors and more.

It’s as weird as Hunter Thompson’s Las Vegas, yet a place that seems inviting to lots and lots of people. It’s also really fun to get directions, and the only people you know for sure are from the area are dressed to the nines in often authentic outfits. If, say, you’re killing time and need food, all you need to do is ask.

“Excuse me, man dressed as Stan Laurel, where’s the nearest In-N-Out Burger?”

He’ll gladly help.