This week's big announcement that IKEA is planning a Columbus location at the former site of Polaris Amphitheater in 2017 makes us as excited as you are. Here's why.
This week's big announcement thatIKEA is planning a Columbus location in 2017 makes us as excited as you are. Here's why.
Trickle down furniture economics
With all those new options at their fingertips, it's only a matter of time before the urban professionals post their last season (but already assembled!)IKEA furniture on Craigslist for the rest of us poor rogues to rummage through.
Inspiration for a new Jeni's flavor
Prediction: Jeni's will welcome the retailer with a special new flavor: Salted Lingonberry and Swedish Meatball.
Two words: Flat packing
Never worry about fitting that extendable table through the door of your OTE studio apartment again - or finding out where those three extra screws were supposed to go.
Discovering exact point of critical mass for Polaris traffic
The already congested hub is about to get congested-er. As one friend quipped, "I'd rather drive to Cincinnati." Meanwhile, the grand opening is going to be the best time to run errands everywhere else in the city.
Site may be haunted by the Ghost of Ozzfest '97
IKEAmay want to hire an exorcist to cleanse all the bad energy released by rioting fans at what was possibly the most infamous show at the former Polaris Amphitheater.
Recreating the displays at home
You never knew you needed that Arjeplog lighting fixture until you saw how perfectly it accented that understated Lerhamn table.
Culture wars with Cabela's shoppers
The hip furniture retailer and the massive outdoors retailer in the same area will be a perfect representation of Ohio's swing-state status.
The inevitable in-store arguments (and the make-up sex that follows)
Sure, poring through stacks upon stacks of identical boxes for the right product number can drive you to madness - most likely ending in a knock-down, drag-out brawl with your partner in the lighting section. Don't worry - once that new sofa is assembled, your partner will want to break it in.
Watching other couple's in-store arguments
See above. You'll have to use your imagination for their make-up sex.
New high scores on Ikea or Death online quiz
The popular online quiz at ikeaordeath.com gives you a series of names and lets you decide whether they are Ikea items or black metal bands. This is your homework.
Opportunity to start a Fight Club
Once you realize it's just moderately priced furniture, take out your consumerist aggression on somebody's face at the underground fight club you started. I am Jack's disassembled Karlstad.