When I hauled four kinds of pumpkin beer to the register at Kenny Road Market, the cashier said, "Enjoy your beer" with not a small bit of sarcasm. Yet pumpkin beer is everywhere! It can't all be good, but can it really be all bad? We became your guinea pigs for a day, doing a blind taste test of four pumpkin beers from respected breweries. Here's how they stacked up:

When I hauled four kinds of pumpkin beer to the register at Kenny Road Market, the cashier said, "Enjoy your beer" with not a small bit of sarcasm. Yet pumpkin beer is everywhere! It can't all be good, but can it really be all bad? We became your guinea pigs for a day, doing a blind taste test of four pumpkin beers from respected breweries. Here's how they stacked up:

Winner Rogue Pumpkin Patch Ale ($9.99/22-ounce bottle)

Tastes like: "Malty pumpkin," "sweet and creamy," "a decent, no-frills amber with just a hint of pumpkin," "fall in a cup," "Great Lakes Christmas ale f***ed a pumpkin-spice latte"

I'd drink this if: "I wore turtlenecks," "I was sitting by a fire," "I was at a fancy fall soiree but didn't want a cocktail," "I was next to a bonfire"

Might be nice with: "S'mores," "a Netflix binge," "turkey and stuffing," "hearty snacks or a sandwich," "a dessert, like pumpkin pie or apple crisp"

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Second place Southern Tier Pumking ($8.99/22-ounce bottle)

Tastes like: "Spice and ripe bananas," "vanilla, autumn, spice," "Lots of flavor! Sweet, sugar, frosting," "vanilla-flavored nail polish," "hoppy, a little spicy," "a pumpkin cupcake"

I'd drink this if: "It was socially acceptable to drink before work," "I was looking to drink my dessert," "It was late fall, almost Christmas time, because it's a bit holiday-like," "I wanted a cupcake, but didn't want to chew"

Might be nice with: "Pancakes and maple syrup," "pumpkin-related dessert," "After a meal. It may get old fast," "french fries," "Thanksgiving dinner," "bourbon"

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Third place Brooklyn Brewery Post Road Pumpkin Ale ($7.99/6-pack)

Tastes like: "A sweeter pilsner, not like a fall holiday," "sparkling wine," "tangy, strong, not my favorite," "There is no pumpkin in it," "fried pickles," "cloves, spices, toast"

I'd drink this if: "I was recovering from a long marathon training run," "that's all there was to drink," "I were doing a pumpkin beer taste test," "I was desperate," "I had no other option"

Might be nice with: "Hamstring stretches," "maybe dessert," "salty snacks," "fast food," "regret," "fried pickles," "happy hour"

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Fourth Place Dogfish Head Punkin Ale ($8.99/4-pack)

Tastes like: "Soy sauce and nutmeg," "watered-down fall beer," "not much, really," "a Blue Moon with a slight hint of pumpkin," "watered-down bourbon"

I'd drink this if: "You brought it over, but I'd drink anything you brought over," "I was trying to drink a ton of 'pumpkin beer,'" "I had to," "I needed a 'cheaper'-tasting pumpkin beer," "I wanted to be basic"

Might be nice with: "Tensuke Express to go," "something better," "pretzels," "a burger and fries," "flavor"