With Major League Gaming set to bring the MLG Counter-Strike: Global Offensive Major Championship to Nationwide Arena Friday-Sunday, April 1-3, we thought we'd offer up a definitive* ranking of the best video game consoles ever made.

With Major League Gaming set to bring the MLG Counter-Strike: Global Offensive Major Championship to Nationwide Arena Friday-Sunday, April 1-3, we thought we'd offer up a definitive* ranking of the best video game consoles ever made.

1. Nintendo Entertainment System

The original Nintendo system introduced a host of classic characters (Mario Bros, Zelda, Metroid, and on and on), as well as the tried and true technique of blowing on a game cartridge to OH MY GOD WHY WON'T THIS THING JUST PLAY.

2. Playstation 2

The best-selling video game system [insert Kanye West voice] of all time!

3. Sega Genesis

This 16-bit system featured killer arcade ports (Altered Beast!) in addition to a now-classic game starring a speedy hedgehog whose name has since been co-opted by a fast-food chain.

4. Dreamcast

A solid lineup of games (Virtua Tennis is still the best tennis game ever made, imho) and a tagline ("It's thinking") that severely downplayed just how loud this system was when you turned it on.

5. Nintendo 64

I bumped this entire system up a handful of slots based solely on the strength of the multiplayer option in GoldenEye 007, which I logged enough time playing in college to tack a minor onto my degree.

6. Playstation

Prior to Playstation, most game consoles were geared to a younger set. This system embraced games with more mature themes, in comparison, drawing older gamers and potentially ruining thousands of once-healthy romantic relationships.

7. Atari 2600

The roster of Atari 2600 games reads like a would-be digital hall-of-fame: Asteroids, Space Invaders and Pitfall! included.

8. TurboGrafx-16

Great arcade ports and the existence of Splatterhouse, a grisly side-scroller that came equipped with an all-time great parental warning: "The horrifying theme of this game may be inappropriate for young children... and cowards."

9. Wii

Responsible for more busted smart TVs than any other system on this list.

4,870. Tamagotchi

Don't forget to clean up your pet's digital droppings before they make him or her sick. Or do. It can't be much of a life living inside a low-tech keychain now, can it?

86,969,551. 3DO

Does the 3DO deserve to be this low on the list? Probably not (Road Rash was pretty badass, tbh). But try telling that to 14-year-old Andy, who dropped nearly two months of paper route money on this stupid-ass system only to see it get discontinued like 11 months later. Still bitter? Absolutely.

*according to one staffer working under a tight deadline