From the self-proclaimed 'most famous bagpipe band on the planet' to J.R. Smith's infamous DM

The hip-hop themed Pipeline series, designed to connect scenes in neighboring cities, sets up shop at Wild Goose Creative in North Campus on Friday, Jan. 11. With that in mind, we thought we'd take this time to rank pipes. Are you paying attention Pulitzer committee?

NA: The Keystone XL pipeline
OK, so oil pipelines are rarely celebrated, but few have been as (rightly) protested and derided as the now partly operational Keystone XL, which is being constructed to transfer Canadian tar sands to the States, crossing agriculturally and environmentally significant areas, as well as Native American lands. And of course it's already leaked, spilling more than 400,000 gallons in a remote stretch of South Dakota farmland in Nov. 2017.

11. Red Hot Chili Pipers
A regular sight at the Dublin Irish Festival, and completely impossible to read without doing the “does that say Red Hot Chili Peppers?” double-take.

10. Elon Musk's Hyperloop
Musk's proposed mode of passenger/freight transportation, a sealed tube which could *theoretically propel passengers at speeds of more than 700 miles per hour. *theoretically because it will almost assuredly never be built

9. The Verve Pipe
“We were only freshmen…”

8. Frosty's corncob pipe
Smoking might be passe, but no snowman is complete without a corncob pipe (and a button nose, and two eyes made out of coal).

7. Weezer's “Hash Pipe”
Prior to Weezer becoming a running cultural meme (resurrecting Toto's cheeseball anthem “Africa,” among other pursuits), the band was best known for pumping out effortlessly hooky guitar jams like this crunchy number.

6. “Piper”
Even lesser-known Pixar is still worth your time, as this Oscar-winning animated short, starring an adorable sandpiper chick, reveals.

5. Piper Kerman
After writing Orange is the New Black: My Life in a Women's Prison, which was then adapted into a hit Netflix series, author Piper Kerman made local news by moving to Columbus in 2015.

4. The half pipe
Maybe the second most important skateboarding innovation behind the skateboard itself.

3. Super Mario Bros. warp zones
Helping gamers skip levels and access hidden coin rooms since 1985.

2. The Halve Maan Brewery pipeline
The two-mile underground pipeline, located (of course) in Bruges, Belgium, can transport enough beer to fill 12,000 bottles an hour.

1. J.R. Smith's infamous Twitter DM
The Cleveland Cavaliers shooting guard has been turned into a meme on numerous occasions (see: the photo of LeBron James angrily gesturing at Smith following the guard's gaffe during Game 1 of the NBA Finals), but perhaps none as deserved as the time he slid into a female fan's DMs with a plumber-worthy inquiry that I'll let readers google themselves.