Behold Rambo's right-wing revenge fantasy
#1 "Ad Astra" (NEW IN THEATERS)
FilmDrunk has dubbed this parental space epic "Dad Astra," as Brad Pitt blasts into space in search of the man who raised and shaped him, and who he'd long thought dead. It looks... pretty great, to be honest.
The trailer makes it look entertaining enough, but according to our critic Brad Keefe the film goes even deeper than one might expect.
#3 "It Chapter Two"
Clowns, clowns everywhere there's clowns/Blocking out the scenery/Killing everyone in town/See them, don't you laugh/Can't you see the clowns?
#4 "Downton Abbey" (NEW IN THEATERS)
My plan is to walk into the theater and just yell "Parklife!" after any character delivers a lengthy monologue.
#5 "Rambo: Last Blood" (NEW IN THEATERS)
I almost laughed out loud when Sylvester Stallone opened the trailer by saying, "I've lived in a world of death." The xenophobic revenge gore that follows isn't much better, with Stallone's John Rambo enacting Red State revenge fantasies against Mexico that will probably lead some turd like Erick Erickson to dub it "MAGAnificent." I really hate 2019.
#6 "The Goldfinch"
Watching this dull-ass trailer for the second week in a row is like being forced to re-read The Catcher in the Rye, and it's the only thing keeping me from slotting "Rambo" in the basement. (Don't @ me.)