*To the tune of 'Ballroom Blitz'* COSMIC CRISP

In the last couple of weeks, Cosmic Crisp — a new apple varietal more than two decades in the making that combines the Honeycrisp (the longtime apple gold standard) with the Enterprise (not the car rental company) — finally hit grocery store shelves. Growers bet big* on this apple, and, on first impression, they’ve hit the jackpot. The apple nails the Honeycrisp’s pitch-perfect crunch, but with an added tartness that I loved. On texture alone, it’s already vaulted the Pink Lady for me, landing it in the top two alongside its genetic parent, the Honeycrisp. Now, granted, there could be some recency bias in play here, but Cosmic Crisp might have come from nowhere to take the top spot in my running apple rankings.

***

On Saturday, Ohio State transfer Joe Burrow, the LSU quarterback whom the Buckeyes could conceivably face in the National Championship game, won the 2019 Heisman Trophy in a landslide, besting a pair of OSU finalists, QB Justin Fields and defensive end Chase Young.  Not only is the likely top pick in the NFL draft one heck of a QB, but he gives a damned fine speech, which is worth watching in its entirety regardless of your level of sports fandom.

***

The down weekend for OSU sports continued on Sunday when the No. 3 ranked men’s basketball team fell to unranked Minnesota, which had a losing record coming into the game, losing by a final score of 84-71. Expect the team to rebound (and assist and score, wocka, wocka, wocka!) at home against the Southeast Missouri State Redhawks on Tuesday.

*I also bet big while shopping** Saturday, bagging a half-dozen Cosmic Crisps before thinking better of it and going back to grab another six to make an even dozen after I picked up the rest of the groceries.

**My grocery store stationed the Cosmic Crisps next to a bin of Red Delicious, which just seemed downright cruel. Everyone knows Red Delicious apples barely qualify as horse feed. Rubbing it in just seemed beyond the pale***.

***Just kidding. I’m here for the pile on. F*** you, Red Delicious.