New Year resolutions aren't just for people

In the flurry of get-right that everyone gets caught up in at the end of every year, resolutions are the first sign of the annual Self-Help Rapture. Having pledged to stop lying to myself years ago, I no longer have need of personal resolutions. Still, considering the world we are dragging into 2019, I believe resolutions have a place. I’m not optimistic that we’ll have a better world in the next 365 days, but if enough of us work to leave our respective corners better than we found them, we might be able to sleep at night as a society.

In this spirit, I offer a few resolutions for Columbus, which has all the potential in the world to become a better place. Despite the commercials, we’re not yet an equitable meritocracy brimming with culture, so in 2019 let us pledge to:

1. Lose weight
Columbus has some areas where it could stand to lose a few pounds: hefty tax abatements, the surprise pork of stadiums, toxic levels of spin. We could stand to trim a little here.

2. Pick up a new hobby
The Columbus Foundation recently sponsored a citywide museum hop, The Big Explore, with tens of thousands of people striking out to partake of culture we actually have all of the time. It was a great idea — kind of a love letter to ourselves — and here’s hoping a dozen other organizations take the hint. 

3. Drink less
You could go to a different bar every day for a year in this town and not sit at the same stool. Bars are the starter kits of business, but if a city could express signs of a drinking problem, this would be a red flag. Some diversification here would be good.

4.  Eat healthier
Columbus has also franchised a spot on many fattest city polls, usually ranking between the 10th and 20th portly locales. In a country with more than 19,000 towns, Columbus stays on the verge of a stroke. We can do one of two things: Install more health initiatives that don’t consist of adding black bean burgers to every menu, or we can…

5. Enjoy life more
Embrace our gluttony and cultivate a communal sense of unapologetic high-hog living. We have no shortage of restaurants but lack an authentic cuisine. This could be the year that we commit — not to be fit, but to find our food soul. As someone whose religion is food, I could go either way on this.

6. Read More
We have got to start finding money for schools the way we do for soccer stadiums, period. 

All of these would be a great start to building a better city. I’ll settle for any one.