Daily Distraction: The only Black Friday video you need

Be kind to clerks year-round, but particularly as we enter the holiday shopping season

Andy Downing
Columbus Alive
Comedian Scott Seiss

But first, a brief story.

Like many folks, I worked retail for a number of years, logging most of that time as a clerk at Specialty Video in Chicago's Lakeview neighborhood, which is how I paid rent, etc. in the early days when I was also trying to make a go of things as a freelance writer. Looking back, it's still one of the better jobs I had through my mid-20s, largely due to my coworkers, who remain some of the smartest, most talented people I've had the pleasure to know.

Like every retail position, though, we also had customers. And while most were generally pretty awesome and forgiving, there were most definitely exceptions, which is likely what spurred the most accurate line in Kevin Smith's cult film "Clerks": "This job would be great if it wasn't for the ... customers."

Which brings me to one of the more, um, memorable interactions I had in my time at Specialty, when, in the middle of the day, a semi-regular customer stood in the center of the store, in my direct line of sight, and took a long piss on the carpet, leading to this exchange:

What the hell are you doing?

"What? Nothing. It was just my water bottle! It spilled!"

You're not even carrying a water bottle! I just watched you pee! 

*Gesturing wildly at one of the fake plants that decorated the  front of the store* "I didn't! The tree leaked!"

IT'S A FAKE TREE!

Anyway, the larger point here is that working retail can be a total drag and you should approach the clerks working in shops and stores with kindness year-round, but particularly on this Black Friday and into the holiday season.

Now, with that dispatched, here's a video of comedian Scott Seiss uncorking the kind of retorts the likes of which most clerks can only daydream about delivering on the clock. (For those already familiar with this clip, Seiss posted a few more quips yesterday, which you can and should check out here.) Happy holidays, everyone.