The List: Things that some folks might now consider ‘cancel culture’

We live in the dumbest timeline

Andy Downing
Columbus Alive
Rep. Lauren Boebert, R-Colo., speaks during a news conference, Wednesday, May 12, 2021, expressing opposition to "critical race theory," during a news conference on Capitol Hill in Washington. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin) ORG XMIT: DCJM126

In late October, a video surfaced in which Rep. Lauren Boebert, speaking in front of an audience, recalled an elevator run-in with Rep. Ilhan Omar.

“I look to my left and there she is — Ilhan Omar. And I said, ‘Well, she doesn’t have a backpack. We should be fine,’” Boebert said in the video, and laughed, making clear reference to a suicide bomb. (In the video, Boebert also refers to Omar as part of “the jihad squad.")

Omar, who said the interaction described in the video never took place, correctly labeled Boebert’s words “anti-Muslim bigotry.” “Normalizing this bigotry not only endangers my life but the lives of all Muslims,” she said.

On Friday, Boebert issued a tepid apology for her remarks, which might have been the end of things had she not followed with another video on Monday. In the new video, posted to Instagram, Boebert shared details from a recent call with Omar, during which Boebert refused further apology, and which Omar ended prematurely by hanging up the phone, later saying of her decision, "I decided to end the unproductive call."

“Hanging up on someone is part of cancel culture 101 and a pillar of the Democrat Party,” Boebert said in the Instagram post, further stretching the viability of the catch-all term, which has always been meaningless but was somehow rendered even more so here. After all, if hanging up on someone during a private phone conversation is cancel culture, then, really, what isn’t?

Here’s a running list of things that Boebert and others of her ilk would likely now consider cancel culture:

When CVS refuses to honor my Walgreens coupon

Paywalls

Not following me on Twitter

When the doors at PetPeople are locked four minutes before the posted closing time when all I need is that box of treats that I can see on the shelf through the window from here

Holding me to any standard

Any suggestion that America is an imperfect nation with a sometimes dark and troubling history

When my post gets taken down for very clearly violating the terms of service

Instagram filters

When you say you don’t remember meeting me but we so did

When someone doesn’t “like” my Facebook post

When someone calls me out for my bigotry

Not standing for the national anthem

Standing for the national anthem but thinking about what you’re going to get at the concession stand during the first break in play

Worker shortages

When the McDonald’s soft serve machine is down

Mask mandates

Vaccine mandates

"Mandalorian" dates

When someone on a house hunting show says they’re “a fan of closed concept” spaces and/or carpeting

Ohio State losing to Michigan

Spell-check

When you facetiously use a Pete Seeger protest song in a dumb post about two nearly identical taco shops that opened in the same city and someone on social media writes a multi-tweet thread painting you as a Pinkerton sympathizer

Using the proper terminology to describe a person’s espoused worldview and system of beliefs, such as “white supremacist," “white nationalist” or "fascist"

That part in “Get Back” when people are talking about playing the show on a cruise ship and George Harrison interjects to say that “the idea of the boat is completely insane” 

When I ask for a spice level of four and it barely hits three

When you don’t reply to my text message

When you keep saying the AR in AR-15 stands for assault rifle even though you know it’s not true and you’re just saying it to try and get under the skin of another poster

When I want to watch “Sportscenter” highlights but ESPN is only airing “First Take” and “Get Up”

When anyone suggests that the Republican candidate lost in a free and fair election

Forcing me to experience the very needed consequences of my actions