The List: Butter sculptures we want to see
The Ohio State Fair returns next week, as does one of our favorite traditions: the Butter Cow. For more than a century, life-size butter carvings have been a part of the fair, but here's our dream buttery lineup for this year.
Butter Donald Trump's Hair
It's the perfect political statement with the Donald's presidential run currently dominating the conversation. You'd probably have to use whipped butter to get the wispiness right.
Yeah, he's got a famously Trump-sized ego, but he's got a lot more to back it up - Trump didn't make 808s and Heartbreaks. Can be paired with a margarine Kim Kardashian.
Butter Giant Stick of Butter
And, no, you can't just stick a whole bunch of regular sticks of butter together.
Butter Jar of Cookie Butter
Imagine it: Trader Joe's addictive and magical spreadable cookies … recreated in butter form.
Butter Red Wedding
"Game of Thrones" fans can relieve the series' most infamous scene as The Yellow Wedding (so it's not too graphic for the kids).
Butter Insane Clown Posse
With the Gathering of the Juggalos coming to Central Ohio in the days before the fair, you could debut the likeness of Violent Jay and Shaggy 2 Dope there, then transport them to the fair with a nice Faygo glaze.
Butter Columbus Light Rail
It won't get you to work, but it's a start.
Another "ripped from the headlines" entry, we could commemorate the latest "Summer of the Shark Attack" with an homage to Jaws, maybe throw in an Australian pro surfer?
Melted Butter Cow
Let's take the signature sculpture and get conceptual with it: just a kiddie pool full of delicious melted butter.
One of our favorite supporting "South Park" character represented in his namesake medium. So meta.