The List: Last-minute Halloween costumes for 2020
Due to the ongoing pandemic, Halloween is going to be a bit different this year. The usual holiday house parties and bar costume contests have largely been canceled, and evenHighBall Halloween has moved online. But on the off-chance you’re still planning to gather online in celebration, we thought we’d float a few last-minute costume ideas.
Sen. Rob Portman
Wear91 percent of a Donald Trump costume.
Columbus City Council
Have your partner/roommate dress as a police officer and occasionally pepper spray you, to which you will respond by doing nothing.
The ideal costume if absolutely no one at the party knows who you are.
Sen. Dianne Feinstein
Spend the evening complimenting people dressed as monsters on their decorum while continually reminding everyone within earshot that “this is one of the best Halloween parties that I’ve participated in.”
Amy Coney Barrett
Accept a last-minute invite and breeze through the shindig with minimal vetting. The costume is doubly effective if your presence is only welcomed by a minority group currently utilizing every available tool to wield majority power in regards to party planning.
Develop a slight cough but have your mom/dad/grandma/grandpa strap themselves to a ventilator.
Type cryptic messages laced with every paranoid thought and half-cocked idea about government, power or society you can dream up in the Zoom chat box throughout the party and then sit back and watch as it warps reality for your growing cast of “followers.”
A Facebook monitor
Dedicate passive attention to the person in the Q costume and every few hours offer them a half-hearted, “Hey, maybe you shouldn’t say that here.”
Allow a long, mask-optional line to bunch up outside of your house (on which you’ve already posted a lengthy, questionable list of dress requirements).
If your party is digital-only, well, so are we. Now just tell someone to sign up for your email newsletter every 5 to 7 minutes. And it would also help if two or three times throughout the night you have a fellow partygoer remind you that you’re not The Other Paper.