The List: Things that *might* be as dumb as Rep. Jim Jordan's Fauci Christmas tweet

Andy Downing
In this image from pre-recorded video, Rep. Jim Jordan, R-Urbana, speaks at the 2020 Republican National Convention.

On Friday, Rep. Jim Jordan logged on to Twitter and fired off the following missive:

Now,Jordan is no stranger to Twitter stupidity, whether he’s sharing the false conspiracy that Big Tech is out to silence conservatives (the top-performing Facebook posts of the last 24 hours are, in order, from right-wingers Dan Bongino, Ben Shapiro, Franklin Graham, FOX News and Ben Shapiro again) or repeatedly questioning the integrity of a presidential election that, to be frank, has turned into a bit of a blowout. 

But even considering that framing, this recent tweet is a new low, not just because it's aggressively stupid, which it is, but because it’s also cynical as hell, posted in an attempt to draw a line between two things that only intersect in the rotted algorithms of right wing media. Wearing a mask and limiting travel both good and necessary in the midst of a global pandemic that has claimed more than 284,000 American lives and rising have zero connection to any imagined War on Christmas, but Jordan is linking them as a way of lazily dishing up lukewarm red meat that he clearly views as a scorching hot political take. Asmusician Jason Isbell rightly pointed out, Jordan isn’t making this connection because he’s stupid, but because he thinks his followers are, which is infinitely worse.

Anyway, here’s a rundown of some of the things that might be as dumb as Jordan’s tweet.

The fact that you can’t access HBO Max on Roku devices

Even before Warner Bros. announced that its full 2021 slate would premiere simultaneously in theaters and on the HBO Max streaming app (including “Dune”!), I wanted to sign up for the service in order to watch the new documentary “Class Action Park.” Unfortunately, HBO Max has yet to strike a deal with Roku, meaning we can’t access it on our TV and leaving us in this weird limbo where we want a large corporation to take our money and it won’t.

The Kentucky Fried Chicken-themed Lifetime “movie”

You’re all sharing an advertisement.

The government’s mixed messaging on the coronavirus

You have to go to work, but don’t go out after. Also, keep buying things and supporting local businesses because we haven’t given them enough stimulus money to keep the economy stable minus your contributions. But also stay home.

Stop the Steal

Just an absolute cesspool of misinformation and conspiracy with strong links to QAnon. It will also undoubtedly serve as breeding grounds for the sadly inevitable, COVID-driven surge in the anti-vaccine movement.

Every social media redesign ever

Not once has anyone signed on to Facebook, Twitter or Instagram following a redesign and thought, “Well, this looks great. And it's so functional!”

The frequency with which iPhone apps require updating

Staying current is a full-time job.

Rumors that Michigan is about to extend Jim Harbaugh’s contract

It’s not only that the coach from up North can’t beat Ohio State. He struggles with most quality opponents, really, piling up a 9-13 record in 22 games against ranked teams. Actually, you know what? Keep him around as long as you want, Michigan.

Eric Clapton and Van Morrison’s anti-lockdown song “Stand and Deliver”

Those two deserve one another.

Arguing amid COVID-19 that college athletes aren’t professionals

I’ll let Jeff Capel, head coach of the Pitt Panthers men's basketball team, take it from here. “These kids are away [from their families] and they’re out and they’re laying it on the line to entertain people. Something just doesn’t feel right about it right now,” Capel told the Pittsburgh Post Gazette. “The numbers were what they were back in March. I look at it every day, man. It seems like every day it’s getting worse. I don’t know why you cancel it in March, but you say it’s OK to do it right now. But what do I know?” If NCAA players are going to be held to the performance standards of professionals, they deserve compensation beyond an education.

Burger King’s “Reduced Methane Emissions Beef” Whopper

Honestly? It’s a good idea, in concept, but the marketing could use significant work.

Sen. Rob Portman’s recent press email deluge