The List: Things Dr. Sherri Tenpenny has tried to stick to the vaccinated

What an exceedingly dumb time to be alive

Andy Downing
Columbus Alive
Mouse Trap

Prior to this week, you probably weren’t familiar with the name Dr. Sherri Tenpenny. But the licensed Ohio physician became a social media trending topic after she accepted a GOP invitation to testify during a House Health Committee hearing on House Bill 248 at the Ohio Statehouse, during which the known conspiracy theorist was given a platform to falsely claim that vaccines can “magnetize” people, among other claims.

"I'm sure you've seen the pictures all over the internet of people who have had these shots and now they're magnetized," Tenpenny said. "You can put a key on their forehead, it sticks. You can put spoons and forks all over and they can stick.”

Taking a cue from Tenpenny, Joanna Overholt, a registered nurse (side note: dear God), later defended Tenpenny, attempting to place a key and a hairpin to her chest and neck.

It did not go well for her.

On the plus side, the moment did become a viral meme, followed by a flood of photos and videos in which people attempted to stick silverware to their faces, which just might mean we’re on the map now. O-H!

Equal parts depressing, infuriating and hilarious (in a laugh-so-you-don’t-cry kind of way), the whole scene did get us thinking about what other objects Tenpenny might have tried (and generally failed) to affix to the heads of the vaccinated.

Here are our best guesses ranked from least likely to stick to most. Note: Any hint of adhesion in a bulk of these cases is likely a byproduct of sweat causing the skin to become slightly tacky.

A pint glass full of room-temperature beer

A basketball signed by John Starks

The Blackberry Evolve X

An empty pint glass

A copy of REM’s Monster on compact disc purchased from the bargain bin

Forks (metal)

Marbles

The diving man from a copy of the board game Mouse Trap that is missing pieces

Cassette tapes (also, follow up to see if the tape was erased by the magnetic field)

Random fruits and vegetables

Yarn

Ten pennies (or, alternatively, a dime)

Microfiche

Forks (plastic)

Cotton balls

Tape (the non-sticky side)

Thumbtacks jabbed forcefully into the skull

An “I’ve Been Vaccinated” sticker