The Other Columbus: ‘The 12 Days of Cbus’

A new, city-specific carol suited to this holiday season

Scott Woods
A blanket of snow covers the skyline of downtown Columbus on Wednesday, Dec. 16, 2020. Winter weather passed through Central Ohio on Wednesday morning.

A couple of Decembers ago I wrote a Columbus remix of “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.” In the spirit of keeping things light and agreeable over the approaching holiday, I offer this new jaunty sing-along: "The 12 Days of CBus.” Stay safe this season, folks.

On the first day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

An orange cone on the freeway

***

On the second day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

***

On the third day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Three potholes

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

***

On the fourth day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Four tax abatements

Three potholes

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

***

On the fifth day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Five Rose Bowl rings 

Four tax abatements

Three potholes

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

***

On the sixth day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Six police macing

Five Rose Bowl rings 

Four tax abatements

Three potholes

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

***

On the seventh day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Seven schools a-crumbling

Six police macing

Five Rose Bowl rings 

Four tax abatements

Three potholes

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

***

On the eighth day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Eight insurrectionists

Seven schools a-crumbling

Six police macing

Five Rose Bowl rings 

Four tax abatements

Three potholes

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

***

On the ninth day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Nine campus muggings

Eight insurrectionists

Seven schools a-crumbling

Six police macing

Five Rose Bowl rings 

Four tax abatements

Three potholes

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

***

On the tenth day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Ten mask mandates

Nine campus muggings

Eight insurrectionists

Seven schools a-crumbling

Six police macing

Five Rose Bowl rings 

Four tax abatements

Three potholes

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

***

On the 11th day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Eleven anti-vaxxers

Ten mask mandates

Nine campus muggings

Eight insurrectionists

Seven schools a-crumbling

Six police macing

Five Rose Bowl rings 

Four tax abatements

Three potholes

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

***

On the 12th day of CBus

My mayor sent to me

Twelve Buckeye Donuts

Eleven anti-vaxxers

Ten mask mandates

Nine campus muggings

Eight insurrectionists

Seven schools a-crumbling

Six police macing

Five Rose Bowl rings 

Four tax abatements

Three potholes

Two soccer stadiums

And an orange cone on the freeway

And an orange cone on the freeway!