The Daily Show: Victory Lapse

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

Last week marked the one-year anniversary of the death of Osama bin Laden. Just 12 months ago, parents across the country had to suddenly explain to their children why they had just shouted at the TV, “F--- yeah! Americaaaa!”

Bin Laden’s death was the first event since 9/11 that brought us all together, which — of course — is why one year later an ad touting President Obama’s steadfast leadership during the raid whilst subtly questioned his opponents judgment (“Which path would Mitt Romney have taken?”) is tearing us apart.

“It’s the president who said he wasn’t going to spike the football and all this — we shouldn’t gloat about it — running campaign ads gloating about it,” said Jonah Goldberg of the National Review Online.

Crybaby. So let me get this straight. Republicans are annoyed by the arrogance and braggadocio of a wartime president’s political ad? You think he’s divisively and unfairly belittling his opponents?

Are you on crack!? Were you alive these last 10 years? It seems unseemly for the president to spike the football? George Bush landed on a f---ing aircraft carrier with a football-stuffed codpiece and put up banners saying “Mission Accomplished.” He spiked the football before the game had even started.

Your Republican caterwauling and outrage made me wonder if they’re aware that the frontal lobe of the cerebral cortex gives us the ability to store and recall past events as they occurred, right? Former Bush and current Romney adviser Ed Gillespie apparently does not realize this.

“He took something that was a unifying event for all Americans and he’s managed to turn it in to a divisive partisan, political attack,” Gillespie said.

Yeah, it would be like in 2004 saying, “If John Kerry had his policies in place today, Saddam Hussein would not only be in Baghdad, he’d be in Kuwait.” Funny, that’s exactly what Gillespie said in 2004, but I bet he doesn’t believe that statement was divisive and partisan. There are other things Republicans seem to be forgetting when it comes to this anniversary.

“I would do what a leader is supposed to do. That is give credit to others; particularly give credit to those who are out there on the front lines,” said former New York Gov. George Pataki.

Honestly, I think the president thanked everybody but Harvey Weinstein. And by the way, in a cacophony of galling Republican forgetfulness — aka Ballzheimers — Pataki stands alone.

Spread the credit around? Thank the people on the front lines? Here’s Pataki at the 2004 Republican National Convention:

“On Sept. 11, al Qaeda attacked again, but this time they made a terrible mistake. There’s one thing they didn’t bank on. They didn’t bank on George W. Bush … George Bush protected our country, and he protects it still,” Pataki said.

And he does it by himself because George Bush is Ironman.

But I do get it. Look, Republicans — the Obama ad is kind of crappy. It’s a little bit of a cheap shot. But the only reason you’re pissed is because you didn’t get to run it.